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Joke of the Day
"I was so tired during Hunger Games, I was nodding as much as Phillip Seymour Hoffman"
Next Joke
"I've been yelling for years. Now I'm convinced. I'm definitely the only one here playing Marco Polo."
"If there's something strange, in your neighborhood, Who ya gonna call? GEORGE ZIMMERMAN"
"The whole ""limiting myself to one glass of wine a day"" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule."
"People in love use phrases like ""takes my breath away"" and ""swept me off my feet"". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder."
"My 20y/o brother went to Elementary school.. To learn firebending"
"Women are like boats I'd rather pay for the occasional ride than go through the hassle of having my own."
"Knock Knock Who's there CD CD who? C DEEZ NUTS *ha* ^^*Got* ^^^*em*"
"A little lizard So a girl walks into a bar with a little lizard and the bartender asks her what she has in her hands. She replies that it's my newt."
"Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test."