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Joke of the Day

"Fella goes to the house of ill repute. Lady meets him at the door and he asks ""how much""? ""$25"" she sezs. ""You gotta be putting me on"", sez Fella. ""No, that's another $5"" sez Lady."

"Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician? When he asked the dog what six minus six was the dog said nothing."

"I used to think I was trapped inside a woman's body Then I was born"

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel."

"I'm available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts."

"How much...? How much dick could a dik-dik lick if a dik-dik could lick dick?"

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time."

"A man once ate a whole deck of playing cards. A couple of hours later, he had to drop a deuce."

"New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I'll decide what is ""fresh"" and ""natural"" and ""like a real girl"" thank you very much"