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Joke of the Day

"""I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains. Que-"" Job interviewer: Three references is fine."

"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?"

"I want to get stoned like I cheated on my Iranian husband."

"""Son, if you keep masturbating like that you're going to go blind!"" Dad, I'm over here."

"When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all ""stop the car"" and ""we're calling the police""."

"Two fish were in a tank... One fish says to the other ""You man the guns, i'll drive"""

"What did the suave frog say to the hot frog? You're ribbeting!"

"Q: What's blue and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket in disguise."

"I get my wife the same thing every year for Christmas, a dildo and a pair of slippers If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself"

"So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them ""It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike""."