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Joke of the Day

"I get my wife the same thing every year for Christmas, a dildo and a pair of slippers If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself"

"I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time"

"If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me."

"I saw two blind dudes fighting the other day... .. and I yelled ""I'm rooting for the one with the knife!"" Both of them ran away."

"What do you call a gay anemic? homo-goblin"

"Black Lives Matter is protesting the Twin Cities Marathon... ...there must be a huge race issue in America"

"What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on? *squash*"

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff."

"Why do Asians have small breasts Because their fathers only allow for A's."

"It's important for me to teach my kids to be independent & self-reliant, cause I won't be around forever, especially if I win the lottery."