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Joke of the Day

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."

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"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a licensed six offender."
"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."
"My penis has a warning label... It says ""Warning! Choking hazard...small parts."""
"Whats the difference between a woman and a dog? Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards."
"Who Let The Dogs Out? Ramsay Bolton."
"tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home"
"WIFE: I'm tired of you living in a fantasy world ME: *imagining she's Kate Upton* You always say that, Kate WIFE: Who is Kate? WHO IS KATE?"
"What's thick, black, and over a foot long? My roommate's asian girlfriend's hair clogging the fucking shower drain."
"I Don't always post on Reddit But When i do, people just downvote. like now..."