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Joke of the Day

"My penis has a warning label... It says ""Warning! Choking hazard...small parts."""

"I love dying from sneezing 11 times in a row and being defibrillated back to life with a 12th"

"Light Yagami thought he was going to die on those stairs, but then he woke up the next day... And realized it was just a Near-Death experience."

"What kind of fish is the worst friend? The Sel-Fish"

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"I lost two bagels on a public bathroom floor. Now they're pissed."

"What do you call an Asian man with one leg? Tie Won Shoo"

"You know what really makes my day? The rotation of the earth"

"What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!"

"Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion"