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Joke of the Day
"[hears a dog in the distance barking in the middle of the night] Yeah I'd love to be friends."
Next Joke
"You're all invited to my second bar mitzvah where I become a child once again"
"My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display. How will it work?Remains to be seen."
"how do you know if you have a high sperm count? your daughter has to chew before she swallows"
"What do you call an American communist? Manifesto Destiny"
"I'm not a racist.... I'm not a racist, Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people. Also Whats black and doesn't work? Half of london"
"What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia"
"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."
"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin ? Flatman and Ribbon !"