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Joke of the Day

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."

Next Joke
 
"Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit? Because thyme heals all wounds. :D"
"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""
"Tom Cruise was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. Still awaiting his response..."
"The iPhone 5 will be able to print bacon"
"lol at all these fucking idiots in first class, cant even afford a private jet smh"
"Went early to my Tantric Sex class last night... Was told to come later."
"What do you call a running gag on crutches? A lame joke."
"I got 99 problems... 100 of them are related to my inability to count."
"Just texted ""I love you"" to about 40 phone numbers I made up."