38856

Joke of the Day

"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"I'm having one of those days where I feel like the single soggy onion ring that somehow made it into an order of french fries."

"What pronouns do you use to address a chocolate bar? Her/she"

"There once were three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."

"[ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup"

"Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: ""Still not sure if we like it, tbh."""

"Can't speak for all women but generally I'll just keep nagging until you agree with me, sometimes even after that. You know, for sport."

"If Pokemon had a national holiday, what would it be called? Ash Wednesday"

"Where do cats go when they die? Purrgutory."

"""Did you ever try my hot salty water?"" - Inventor of soup"