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Joke of the Day

"Air and sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."

"Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember"

"I wear a diaper for two reasons... Number one and number two."

"I assume the Burning Bush was the Bible's first recorded STD."

"Remember when we used to call the ""self check-out"" - 'Theft'?"

"*unrolls blueprints of a dick* no no no this part has got to go. dont know what this does... gone. lets put a ruby here. in the shaft"

"I decided to have that fifth cup of coffee, and now the ghosts of my ancestors are scrolling through my iTunes trying to pick a summer jam."

"American A man from Israel got his citizenship, I guess you could say he Israeli American now"

"The four food groups: Fast Frozen Instant and Chocolate."