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Joke of the Day

"Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way"

"Customer spelling her name: Me: Is that V as in Victor or Z as in Zebra? Her: Z as in Xylophone. And this, kids, is why education is key."

"If I had a quarter for every time a homeless person asked me for change I still wouldn't give him any"

"Know what OBGYN stands for? OBGYN: Oh Boy! Got You Naked!"

"Did you hear about the new Kanye track? Its the one about the lesbians riding three wheeled bicycles on a naturally occuring water dam? Its just dykes on trikes on dikes."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"Which is Better, a Cat or a Dog House? A dog house, because a cat house has no woof!"

"Why does Stephen Hawking have a boring sex life? You can't 69 in binary."

"Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017 but that's close enough for non-technical people."

"[crime scene] photographer: I'm done unless you want another angle or something. detective: let's do a jumping one!"