84943

Joke of the Day

"Why does Stephen Hawking have a boring sex life? You can't 69 in binary."

"Mickey Mouse is in court ... the judge looks and Mickey and says ""Why are you divorcing Minnie? is she crazy?"" Mickey looks at the judge and says ""No. She is fucking Goofy"""

"Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished."

"My coworker asked me to guess who invented sliced bread. I said Jesus at the last supper because if I were Jesus why would my bread **not** come apart in clean slices?"

"What sound does a frog make while jacking off? Rubbit Rubbit"

"Christ, you're ENORRRRMUS!! What did the leprechaun say when he met Jesus?"

"How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way."

"I hope that guy that ""wants to be a billionaire"" makes $999,999,999.00 and then gets hit by a bus"

"What is Donald Trump's favorite music album? The Wall"

"""There's no I in TEAM,"" he yells. ""There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM,"" I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again."