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Joke of the Day

"The most annoying thing about being a 1.6 meters male is that when I step on money I'm always short on cash."

"4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition."

"""The best part of waking up was the Folgers in my cup"" - Suicide note, first draft"

"BROKEN CAGE Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: ""Cheap, cheap!"""

"My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."

"Did you hear there was a blackout last night? Don't worry, we caught him"

"So a blonde rips a particularly fragrant fart Some buddy says ""k there, that smells like **diarrhea**!"" Blonde replies ""Oh, well that's funny because I don't remember eating diarrhea."""

"Marriage: when hanging out goes way too far."

"You could sell the cure for Ebola to Gamestop and they'd still only give you $4.99 for it"

"God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis."