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Joke of the Day

"A mathematician tries to go to the beach... A mathematician tried to go to the beach to get a tan, but he couldn't find it cos there were no sines."

"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"

"I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses."

"What's the difference between a hammer and a mallet? I don't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"Found out i was colourblind the other day.. Hit me right out of the purple"

"I can't believe it's almost 2012 & there isn't a prenatal test to find out if you're gonna have one of those kids who's really into magic."

"CANADIAN: im a canadian DATE: cool i've never met a comedian befor CANADIAN: [is too polite to corect them, dedicates entire life to comedy]"

"What kind of reptile loves to start shit? An insta-gator"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field!"

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"