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Joke of the Day

"Found out i was colourblind the other day.. Hit me right out of the purple"

"before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask ""how'd you get up there"" and they'd be like ""i don't know"""

"I tried learning braille, but it was really tough. Those bumps are hard to see"

"I recently learned that the smell of fresh cut grass is the smell plants give if when under duress, and I like that smell... I guess this makes me a sado-*manicurist*"

"Why does no one own an Xbox in Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sony in Philadelphia!"

"Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology."

"Just one, actually. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"

"Did you guys hear about the gay truckers? They traded loads"

"What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution? Something you do for the first week of the new year."

"I'm lucky have a friend like you. I'm just glad he isn't TOO much like you."