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Joke of the Day

"What kind of reptile loves to start shit? An insta-gator"

"Girlfriend: Im not the best cook, is that cool? Me: Yeah, I love shitty food."

"Why couldn't Sally use the swings? She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for her Birthday? We don't know, she didn't open it yet."

"I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children."

"One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom."

"Okay, Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Seems like it might be time for you to Google ""normal human mouth"" photos."

"I was flattered that our mailman calls me ""Sunshine"" until I overheard him call my neighbor, the double amputee, ""Speedy."""

"Why do you never see an elephant hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu! Didn't I see you yesterday?"

"""Am I the first man you have ever loved?"" he said. ""Of course,"" she answered ""Why do men always ask the same question?""."