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Joke of the Day

"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Chirstmas and I got a Rolex. I guess they miss-understood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"if you're happy and you know it... then the chemtrails are working Edit: credit to Welcome to Nightvale"

"As long as the stupid phrase ""interracial relationship"" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a ""color-coordinated relationship."""

"I broke my hymen riding a horse... Its dick sure was huge!"

"Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2? Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts."

"How do churches stay so strong? They pray on the weak."

"Why did mr.Potato head go to Prison. Hash browns."

"*flips cap backwards* son, let's keep it real *puts on another cap* the realest *puts on suit made of backwards caps* REALality. word."

"What's the difference between eating out pussy and drinking American Beer? Pussy only tastes like piss in the beginning."

"I walked in on my roommate watching midget porn When I questioned him about it, he started getting short with me"