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Joke of the Day

"I broke my hymen riding a horse... Its dick sure was huge!"

"What do you get when you put semen in a bat? Abasement."

"Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?"

"[dj voice] ""Make some noise, Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""Whatcha wanna hear, I'm taking requests"" [in unison] HI TAKING REQUESTS I'M DAD"

"Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out."

"Don't call it a comeback.. .. It's mostly in your hair."

"The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years."

"When I jerk off I'm not a fancy restaurant about it, I'm more like McDonalds Fast, easy, and you don't have to get out of the car"

"HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan."

"Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt: ""You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"" Kid: Nevermind ""Yeah, me, too."""