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Joke of the Day

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"People keep telling me that they are annoyed by all my Linkin Park references... but in the end, it doesn't even matter..."

"I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?"

"a beer at yankee stadium is like a monthly mortgage payment in any other state"

"Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay."

"People who call their loved ones ""name""-kin As someone who is *actually* meta-kin, I find it really offensive."

"""I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time."" -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior."

"What did the saucer say to the teacup? You have a hot bottom."

"Did you know there's actually 4 scientific bonds? * Ionic Bond * Metallic Bond * Covalent Bond * James Bond"

"What is Russia's codename for Trump? Agent Orange."