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Joke of the Day

"MAN TO LIZARD: ""SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN FLOORING SALES"" LIZARD: ""IM MORE IN PROMOTION"" MAN: ""WHAT DO YOU DO"" LIZARD: ""I REP TILE"""

"HELLO automatic flushing toilet!! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I really wasn't finished"

"Hanging out with Helen Keller always made me feel like such a hipster. She'd never heard of any of the bands I like."

"""Science HAS gone too far,"" I whisper, gazing out across the sea of boneless chickens slithering through the farmyard. The Colonel laughs."

"One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998."

"Hello everyone. I'm using Internet explorer so I hope this gets out in time. Happy New Year 2006"

"A friend of mine asked if you could catch AIDS from a toilet seat. I said, only if you sit down before the other guy gets up."

"They found a hole in the wall at the local prison The police are looking into it"

"What happensto nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes daytrogen ^I'msorry"

"I was sitting on a bus in Thailand across from a beautiful young lady. My shorts were a little tight and I was thinking, don't get a boner, don't get a boner... But she did."