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Joke of the Day

"One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998."

"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."

"Difference between an android and an iphone. *iphone falls to the floor* Breaks screen. *android falls to the floor* Breaks floor."

"Who is the greatest Jewish cook? Hitler."

"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."

"Why did the blonde stuff 98 berries in her mouth They were cramberries."

"What do you get if you cross a drummer with Mike Tyson? A beatboxer."

"The secrets of the baking industry are given out only on a knead to dough basis."

"How do you insult an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it is from."

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs."