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Joke of the Day

"I started a band called 999 megabytes We still haven't gotten a gig"

"I can make you speak like an Indian. How? That's right!"

"What did the businessman say to the other businessman? We're both businessmen."

"You know why Santa has so big balls? He only comes ones a year."

"Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth."

"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil."

"Dilemma If you had to choose between your wife or a million dollars, which car would you buy first?"

"Looks like I'm in the doghouse again.. Last night whilst the wife was asleep I swapped her tampax for a party popper. No sense of humour whatsoever!"

"As a kid I was frightened of the dentist... Because he was a Paedophile every time I went in he'd give me a filling"

"When your friend offers you free food, all trust is gone out the window!!! The fuck did you do to it? Nothing, I swear! Okay I'll take a fucking bite."