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Joke of the Day

"As a kid I was frightened of the dentist... Because he was a Paedophile every time I went in he'd give me a filling"

"This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris... ... Effectively crippling the French military."

"Whats the difference between a wank and an egg? You can beat an egg."

"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"Life milestone: when your iPhone stops autocorrecting ""fuck"" to ""duck."""

"If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously."

"An invisible man married an invisible woman... Their kids were nothing to look at either."

"Why are lions more religious than other animals? They prey regularly."

"I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes."

"Straight girls are like spaghetti... Only straight until they get wet."