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Joke of the Day
"You know why Santa has so big balls? He only comes ones a year."
Next Joke
"Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand she has to give directions!"
"How's it like living in a totalitarian regime? Can't complain."
"(I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)"
"Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care."
"Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know? I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!"
"Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife."
"Ted Cruz is complaining about ""liberal fascism,"" so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like ""potato doorknob."""
"Which songs do planets sing? Neptunes."
"Coldplay have been arrested. They played ""Clocks""."