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Joke of the Day
"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were on a boat, who would survive? Answer: America"
Next Joke
"David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""
"My apartment looks like a Sims house before you figure out the cheat code for unlimited money."
"Someone told me it was important to have relationships with positive people. Now I have AIDS"
"If electricity is always directing itself to the least resistant, where would it go? The French"
"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""
"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."
"Someone once told me that nothing rhymes with orange ... I said, ""no it doesn't...."""
"What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say? ""Argh it's driving me nuts!"""
"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming."