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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm... and says ""Pint please, and one for the road."""

"Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse."

"What do you call a group of paralyzed hippies? Organic Vegetables."

"What happens when you play the drums incorrectly? You get repercussions"

"My father's such a condescending man ... Since he died he's always looked down on me."

"Almost had a threeseom. All i needed was 2 more girls."

"I sure do feel a shitload more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym."

"What's the difference between Joan Crawford and an abortion doctor ? When Joan used a coat-hanger on Cheryl, she was already out of the womb."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"

"Not quite feeling myself today. I'm going to see if booze helps..."