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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch? A MANDATE *snicker*"

"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."

"What deity has the worst teeth? Tartarus"

"Hey people with one syllable names...... Good job ruining the Happy Birthday song. Jerks"

"Irish step dancing was discovered by women waiting in line to use the restroom."

"Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket? Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)"

"Summing up things about this year 2015: I am officially THE WORST YEAR EVER! 2016: Hold my beer."

"I accidentally left a butt plug up her ass for 2 weeks... No shit"

"Where in the world was Carmen, San Diego. San Diego, you idiot."

"Why should you always keep a firearm in the small room by your front door? Foyer protection"