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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a jew and a dollar? It's illegal to burn a dollar."

"What's Michigan's favorite beer? PbR"

"One liner. I have a cold. The stuff that's coming out of my nose could turn turtles into ninjas."

"GF: I'm leaving you because you're obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me. ME: Please don't go. You're Juan in a minion."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun. A Roman-Catholic"

"Church is so annoying.. Your either on your knees or standing up. I wish the priest would just find a position to fuck me."

"Every night Owen Wilson secretly prays tomorrow will be the day his son breaks his nose for the first time."

"Crimea River What did say to bama."

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"Threesome? No thanks If I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I would have dinner with my parents."