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Joke of the Day

"One liner. I have a cold. The stuff that's coming out of my nose could turn turtles into ninjas."

"""Hey, checkout my butthole."" - Cats."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers. But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back."

"Why is everyone worried about meteors instead of the possibility that Russia just got their own Superman?"

"I tripped over a bra today I think it was a booby trap"

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents"

"Just got a peek at Santa's naughty list! Amazingly, it's almost identical to my friends list. Can't believe some of the things you people have done!"

"OBAMA REVEALS HES A KID STANDING ON A KIDS SHOULDERS. ROMNEY COUNTERS BY REVEALING HES 3 TINY KIDS. 20 BABIES TUMBLE OUT OF BIDENS CLOTHES"

"april fools joke: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine"

"captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir"