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Joke of the Day

"Reminder guys: if a girl undresses in front of you don't just keep saying ""this is terrific"" over and over again ok"

"How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors? They just have a feel for that kind of thing."

"How do supernatural entities cum? They have poltergasms"

"Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh."

"I used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors professionally. I made money hand over fist."

"Why did Ted get fired from his job? Because he would only do the _bear_ minimum?"

"Did you hear the joke about the Dutch speaking farmer? Nevermind. It doesn't transplant well."

"I just finished writing a book on dolphins. I should have used paper."

"Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings? Syrian Mckellen"

"If every day is a gift, I'd have to say today was a Fruitcake from Last Year Day. Recycled, disappointing and held together by booze."