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Joke of the Day

"*spreads toilet seat cover over santa's lap before sitting down*"

"It sucks how pizza doesn't grow back."

"Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F? Because we're all a little obtuse."

"I can't find my Camel, it's gone! It's camelflage was too good"

"Why did the guy wear sweatpants to his prom? Strictly Ballroom."

"Why did Hitler lose the war? Because his tanks wouldn't stop Stallin'."

"Just made eye contact with an old guy as he slowly licked an ice cream cone. Great, like I don't have enough shit keeping me up at night."

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? (Polish version)(NSFW) Wipe your dick on the window curtains."

"Cemetery joke Man walks into a cemetery- ""You have any openings?"" The graves keeper nods ""Lots!"""

"Positive thinking comes in all shapes and sizes at your nearest liquor store..."