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Joke of the Day

"How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors? They just have a feel for that kind of thing."

"Just finished a book about an immortal pet dog. I couldn't put it down."

"I'm trying to remember what that soup is called, the kind with chicken and rice.... Oh yeah! Chinken Noodle!"

"What animal can only survive in temperate climates? A lukeworm."

"The most inappropriate thing to say to the queen of England, I lick your stamps all the time."

"Don't mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months"

"Here's a joke! Obamacare.... I can't afford it.... fml"

"TIL: Roofing in the Summer heat can be dangerous WARNING: HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA"

"""On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge."" - my advice to new teachers"

"Quick Joke # 3 Husband is praying before going to bed... Wife: What are you praying for? Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!"