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Joke of the Day

"What did the white supremacist say to his friend after watching a plot twist? I did Nazi that coming."

"*walks up to microphone during wedding reception* *taps on mic; everyone smiles* ""Anyone that doesn't want their cake, pass it to me please"""

"Also, to all the people with egg avatars... have you thought about where you'll hide on Easter yet?"

"What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods."

"Actor Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a night club in Spain. Orlando's hand was pretty sore today, you know, from all the high-fives he got."

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"

"Why are iPhones' batteries not called apple juice Because they don't have enough juice in them ^Explanation: ^circlejerk ^on ^iPhone's ^battery ^running ^out ^fast don't kill me pls, i love apple ^yay"

"I get so excited every time I see an armored car but then, guess what, no heist."

"I think the most pressing question for the Pope should be, ""so like, after 7pm in the Vatican, what do you do? Just, like, sit in there?"""

"My GF is like my treasure... I buried her in my backyard yesterday."