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Joke of the Day

"Actor Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a night club in Spain. Orlando's hand was pretty sore today, you know, from all the high-fives he got."

"Deer Nuts and Beer Nuts Q:Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts A:Ones a dollar and the other is under a buck"

"It's so cold outside... I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"

"I went to therapy because of all the years I've been putting Chef Boyardee inside of me... I finally admitted how much he's been sodium-izing me."

"Live today like it's your last. Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn't."

"Did you know that nuns have to eat a banana with a knife and fork?"

"My eleven year old brother: ""I have Asperger's Syndrome..."" ""...want a burger?"""

"I need ideas for April fools day pranks to play on my SO"

"An Arab is shaking a carpet on the window.A guy sees from below and asks: What's wrong with it? Doesn't start?"

"Michelle Obama had an awesome speech tonight... I wonder how long we'll have to wait for Malinia Trump to steal it. The part about her black daughters will be awkward."