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Joke of the Day

"I went skiing yesterday. I didn't really enjoy it. I got to the top of the chairlift, but it was all downhill from there."

"*into earpiece during date* Ok now maintain eye contact No not that kind of contact Bro do not touch her eyes Get your eye away from hers"

"When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work"

"What do you call a pregnant girl A run on sentence"

"If my African American father had an Asian name It would be So Long"

"My mom told me today that she is surprised I don't have a cat. I told her I was surprised she has a husband."

"Have you ever eat a clock? Its very time consuming."

"""My goodness, you've grown a foot since I last saw you..."" ...said the doctor in Chernobyl."

"Well it looks like it's just you and me.. [tumbleweed starts rolling away] WAIT TUMBLY, NO"

"I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery. None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea. Edit: So I come back to my joke and have no idea what happened..."