186632

Joke of the Day

"My mom told me today that she is surprised I don't have a cat. I told her I was surprised she has a husband."

"Whats the difference between a dirts bus stop and a crab with big boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Everytime I see a chinese guy, I always think I've seen him somewhere else. - a tourist in Shanghai or anywhere in the world."

"I bet girls on facebook with the duck faces look for men that make a lot of bread."

"Had sex with my first bernie supporter the other day... I now feel the bern"

"A kid asks, ""Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"" The mom replies, ""Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."""

"Golfer: ""Caddy do you think my game is improving?"" Caddy: ""Oh yes sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."""

"Did you guys see the stock prices of brussel sprouts today? They really blew up...."

"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"

"The opposite of Thanksgiving leftovers is Thanksgiving rightunders. I'm so sorry"