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Joke of the Day

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again"

"My favorite Caesar quote. ""Pizza! Pizza!"""

"eer booze and fun!' 'A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets 'em down on the bar. And then the bartender said ""Now dont you start anything!!"""

"Anxiety is like..[doesn't finish the simile due to crippling self doubt and the worry that people will think badly of me]"

"What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog"

"I did bad and I should feel bad What do you call a group of dead, visually impaired people? Horizontal blinds."

"i couldn't tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles"

"2 snails There were 2 snails on the back of a turtle. One of the snails turned to the other and said ""hold on."""

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."

"What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent? A slippery slope."