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Joke of the Day

"i couldn't tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles"

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a turtle with an erection? A slow poke!"
"Little Johnny The teacher came up to Johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey. Johnny said with confidence ""the desk""."
"Why is Yahtzee better than the Bahamas? Because it's more than a paradise."
"Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I fell last night' he said. 'And I was unconscious for eight hours.' The nurse was shocked. 'How awful. What happened?' 'I fell asleep!'"
"On the one hand, I want to exercise and take care of myself. On the other hand, it's just more years of living on a planet full of morons."
"What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood? ""You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"""
"North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub"
"I'm good friends with 24 letters of the alphabet because i hate U and i don't really know Y"
"I'm living in a rough neighbourhood... Some thug tore the front and back pages of my dictionary out! It just goes from Bad to Worse"