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Joke of the Day

"That which does not kill me has been everything so far."

"What do you call a penguin with a smoking problem? It's a puffin!"

"I met this girl at the library... She was really smart! Almost as brainy as Kurt Cobain's ceiling."

"I'm here to write an article about procrastination Actually I'll do it later remind me"

"Why is it we trust politicians with creating jobs when they don't know a thing about working?"

"*wife offers me a sip of her water* m: Am I gonna catch what you have? w: No m: w: m: Are you sur- w: You're not going to get my period!"

"do not be racist Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"Going to Arizona in 2 weeks. Better bring my passport in case I accidentally get a tan."

"Why is Donald Trump still running for president? It's the only race that he hasn't offended yet."

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus station? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"