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Joke of the Day

"Why is ""fuck you"" an insult? I mean, i fuck my self every day"

"My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere."

"The First Time"

"I'm a huge fan Well, I used to be... now I'm an air conditioner"

"Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear? The giraffe put him up to it."

"I only had 3 goals in Monopoly as a kid: Dog game piece Boardwalk and Park Place. Steal your money when you go to the bathroom."

"White may not be able to say the ""n"" word But they can say words like ""Hi Dad"" and ""Thanks for the warning officer."""

"A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink."

"Purell is 99.8% effective in reminding you about your paper cut."

"me: God? God: yes my child me: I need help- God: ask and thou shall receive me: -moving into my new apt God: me: God: me: hello?"