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Joke of the Day

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Puberty"

"Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live Me: Why are YOU afraid? Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?"

"Since you've discovered the Internet you don't pay any attention to me! Who said that?"

"If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that"

"I dated a midget once, we were in love.. I was nuts over her."

"Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere."

"Statistics say there's a gay guy in every group of friends. I think it's Tim... he's got a great ass."

"What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon."