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Joke of the Day

"Statistics say there's a gay guy in every group of friends. I think it's Tim... he's got a great ass."

"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""

"cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]"

"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."

"Your dog has stockholm syndrome."

"If you start peeing out blood Urine big trouble"

"What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils."

"""They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!"" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors"

"My friends think I have a black sense of humour I don't know what they're talking about... In my view it's golden."

"Whats the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby i just killed? Newton died a virgin"