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Joke of the Day

"Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live Me: Why are YOU afraid? Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?"

"There is a race between a skull and a small butt one's clearly ahead, the other's a little behind"

"The internet connection on my phone seems to be at its fastest when I've clicked the wrong link."

"Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"The Victoria's Secret models should use their wings to fly to a food source."

"What do you call a fat Mexican? A spic with span."

"I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted ""WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"""

"Fun Fact: You can edit and crop a selfie so that we aren't able to see the cataclysmic disaster of dirty clothes in the background!"

"Remember that time you were reluctant to test my latest invention ""amnesia pills"" but did anyway? ""No"" excellent."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who became a monk? One evening he was solving a trigonometric equation and then he saw a sine."