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Joke of the Day

"If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"What happens when an Illuminati member works out and gets really buff? He becomes an Illumi-hottie"

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice."

"Why did Adele cross the road?? To say hello from the other side."

"Steven Avery Did you see all the buzz on tv about the Wisconsin criminal that is working the system to manipulate the public for a second chance? Steven Avery no, Scott Walker!"

"I saw Donald Trump walk by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller without stopping... Turns out he really doesn't recognize Jewish Stars."

"What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry."

"Did you hear about the football player who went to jail? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver."

"How do you know when someone is a single mother? Don't worry! They will tell you!"