135663

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris is so awesome... He counted to infinity, twice."

"What's the difference between a Trump and an athlete? Athletes know when to stop running."

"Me:*runs into woods* ahh I'm gonna get killed by the clowns Clown: nah we just want to scare people Me: oh. can u make an exception for me"

"I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"

"I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on."

"Did you see the newspaper report about the midget psychiatrist wanted by the police.... The headline said ""Small medium at large""... I'll see myself out!"

"Awww. It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch.."

"I ran over my cat with a lawnmower. I guess you could say I tore that pussy up."

"Knock, Knock. Who's there? To To Who? Um, it's 'to whom'."

"[ice cream parlor] WIFE: I'll have two scoops of vanilla ME: me too, u could say I want an WIFE AND CLERK: please don't ME: ice cream clone"