135555

Joke of the Day

"Obama throws a grenade at a terrorist..... The grenade explodes.... President Obama then proceeds to open his mouth then yells out ""You got O BOMB'aD son!"""

"Obi-wan: You don't have a shot with Padme. Anakin: Don't underestimate my charm. *stares at her creepily for the rest of the movie*"

"A man walks into a chemists ""Hi, I'd like some Viagra please"" asks the man. ""I'm sorry"" says the Pharmacist. ""You can't get that over the counter."" ""You can if you take enough."" replies the man."

"what do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? a dictator."

"My questionnaire for dogs: 1. Do you like to get pet 2. Who is a good boy 3. Is it you"

"You'd be shocked at how easy it is to walk into a nursing home and draw mustaches on the dementia patents"

"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect."

"[to guy with his foot caught in a bear trap] dude that things for bears"

"Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner? ""No thanks, I'm stuffed."""