170897

Joke of the Day

"Obi-wan: You don't have a shot with Padme. Anakin: Don't underestimate my charm. *stares at her creepily for the rest of the movie*"

"if I were a serial killer, I would target people who scream when they sneeze"

"Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can't even get up fast because the cat is on you."

"Bet you can't see your dick My colleague said to me, ""I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."" ""No, just your daughter's head,"" I replied."

"When someone says something is great, I take that as a personal challenge to not enjoy it."

"What do you call a Jewish beer? A Hebrew"

"A priest, a pedophile and a homosexual walk in to a bar... And that was just the first guy."

"How is Islam like a GPS? You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building."

"A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window. The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks. The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces. The windows phone freezes mid decent."

"I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato"