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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"I HATE stereo-types.. Samsung, Sony, Toshiba, doesn't matter. Can't stand 'em."

"I was told getting a tongue piercing would help me with oral sex... I still can't reach it..."

"If there's a hardship greater than putting cheese on a cracker and having it break before it gets into your mouth I've not heard of it."

"A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, ""You've got a face only a brother could love."""

"My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don't want myself to know about."

"You know what they say in the tire industry? Have a good year!"

"If you thought 9/11 was bad..... The UK might lose a whole country today"

"Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk? Because their wives are driving."

"What's the correct instrument for measuring how fat your mom is? A size-mom-meter"