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Joke of the Day

"Two snowmen are standing in a field One snowman says to the other, ""Do you smell carrots?"""

"[NSFW] How can you tell if your girlfriend is too young? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth!"

"what is the hardest part of eating a veggtable. might be offensive. THE WHEEL CHAIR!"

"Tragic News: Plane carrying Donald Trump underwent massive turbulence, lost engine power, stalled, but landed safely."

"What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ? Bubble and squeak !"

"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it."

"My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performance on a scale of 1-10, last night we tried anal she kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren't worth it."

"Woman Goes Doctor Latvia Woman go to see doctor. Doctor shake head and say, ""Six more days life then die."" Woman is feel sad. Woman asks, ""Is no thing I can take?"" Doctor say, ""Food."""