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Joke of the Day

"Woman Goes Doctor Latvia Woman go to see doctor. Doctor shake head and say, ""Six more days life then die."" Woman is feel sad. Woman asks, ""Is no thing I can take?"" Doctor say, ""Food."""

"Your mother has terrible taste in children."

"""Enough with the boys, I need a real man..."" ...I said to myself while taking out the batteries from my Game Boy and putting them into a vibrator."

"I'm an over medium comedian I don't always make yolks, but when I do, they are runny"

"Why was the sun wearing sunglasses? So he could creep hard on uranus"

"It's odd to hold a ""World Series"" and not invite other countries. But it's weirder to hold a ""Miss Universe"" and not invite other planets."

"Johnny asked his grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could fuck in one night."""

"So I learned how to count yesterday.... It was as easy as 1, 2, 8"

"Me: ""Excuse me, hi"" Her: ""Um, I have a boyfriend"" Me: ""Good for you. I was trying to say your herpes cream fell out of your purse"""

"Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together. Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count."