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Joke of the Day

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."

"My dad's sign was cancer. Its so ironic how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab."

"What do you call a redhead with a yeast infection? Gingerbread"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Scolding and all over my legs"

"I just finished reading Great Expectations. It wasn't all I hoped it would be."

"Interesting how alzheimer's makes people forget their own name; yet they always seem to remember that they're racist."

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 4K"

"Harry, it's your baby Said Professor Umbridge"

"Maggie Thatcher is due to be buried in a man made lake. Well, it will be once everyone finishes pissing on her grave."

"Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like ""How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?"" Now, I tweet them"